My own awareness of self-care started during my counsellor training. I had some counselling, during which my Counsellor asked me about what my needs were. I couldn’t answer her question, because I had no idea. Thus started my own journey of working that out and exploring how to look after myself and meet my needs. Due to some experiences during adolescence I had learnt to protect myself by pretending I didn’t have needs. If I didn’t have needs then I wouldn’t need to experience the pain of noticing that they weren’t being met. Fast forward ten years and I’m a big advocate of self-care. I’m still learning and still could be better at it, but I’m aware of the impact it has. I’ve seen it in my own life, in those around me and in countless clients I’ve worked with.
I had seen positive reviews about The Self Care Project, so was keen to read it. I’m so glad I did. From the outset author Jayne Hardy writes about nine ways she’s sucked at self-care, and the impact it has had on her life. She writes with engaging honesty about her own experiences in an accessible and conversational style. I felt empathy towards her, felt connected to her and it connected me with the parts of myself I’ve neglected.
I wanted to keep reading. And I wanted to do the things she was talking about. I even put it down and stopped reading it for two weeks because I didn’t want to finish it and wanted it to last a bit longer.
I found myself booking yoga classes because I’d been meaning to for ages but hadn’t wanted to spend that much money. I decided that I’m worth it and when I started, I remembered how much I enjoy it. I bought myself some new underwear to replace the ones I had with holes in. I tried paddle boarding because I like fun and adventure and hadn’t tried anything new for a while. Self-care can mean so many different things.
The Self Care Project breaks self-care down into manageable chunks and expresses it in a clear and understandable way. I love the concept of micro steps to trick our mind into letting us make changes. It is practical, but it is more than that. It looks at why we might not be very good at self-care, why it is important, alarms we don’t notice, barriers to self-care, burnout, emergency self-care and every day self-care. It meets you where you are and encourages you to take little steps forward. It is surprisingly thorough and offers worksheets to reflect upon what you’ve read about.
‘We are enough. As we are. It’s the truest of all truths. We don’t need to be fixed – we’re not broken. Lost, unsure, confused, hiding away, recovering, struggling, hurting, damaged, scarred, messy and scared, perhaps, but not broken’ page 72.
I really like how vulnerable and real the author is and the honest stories and examples she shares. The Blurt Foundation (who the author is Founder and CEO of) is aimed at people with depression so the book is mindful of people lacking energy and motivation, but the content is relevant for everyone. It inspires you to get more in touch with who you are. It is about making self-care work for you in your own life and making it your own.
My only criticism is that I don’t want to write in my book and I don’t want to bend the spine trying to scan pages to print the worksheets out. Downloadable printouts would be good!
* Update – there are downloadable printouts 🙂 *
I’ve already bought three copies of this book and will probably buy more. I’ve recommended it to colleagues, students I teach, and I’ll probably buy it for some of my clients too. I think it is a brilliant book and I’m full of admiration for the work Jayne Hardy and the Blurt Foundation are doing.
If you want to find out more check out http://www.blurtitout.org
‘We’re looking for those micro pockets of time where we check in with ourselves, ponder how we’re feeling, consider our energy levels, and act accordingly. Self-care is as much about the ‘being’ as the ‘doing’. When we have the space to be, we can see more clearly what we might need to do to feel better’ page 117.